Your friends, colleagues, and spouse are driven by a few core motivations – one of them is control. We humans are programmed to master our environment and this gets tricky when dealing with other humans. Why?

We never actually know what the other person is thinking (despite how much you believe you can read your spouse’s mind). And we don’t actually have control over other people.

This dilemma of wanting to control our environment, but not really being able to control other people is the quintessential source of conflict in our relationships and in our workplaces. Let’s brainstorm how we can solve it.

First – let's acknowledge we have a serious trust deficit in our business, political, and personal lives. There are so many people in our lives that we can't know them all intimately, never-mind the 7 billion other people on the planet (or even our "500+" LinkedIn followers). But having more familiarity with people is what gives us a sense of control. Think: first date versus three years into a relationship. Familiarity builds a sense of control that builds trust. There are no quick fixes and true shortcuts.

Next Monday, we’ll dive into how to fact check how well we know our colleagues and partners and begin exploring what it means to build trust. In the meantime, share this article and then try this exercise:

Take 5-10 minutes today and
ask yourself: “Who do I trust most in my life?”

Having challenges building trust in your relationships or business team? Let’s make it work better.


 This is the first in an article series about maximizing trust and empathy in your relationships and business.