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EMPOWERMENT

"Saying you're Bi is just an excuse for acting slutty" or What Not to Say to LGBTQ People

Reese, a 17 year old female high school student, came out to her friends and family as bisexual a couple of years ago. Most of her family told her it was “just a phase” and now her friends ask her, “Are you sure you’re bisexual?” and “Are you still bisexual, you haven’t dated any girls?” These questions may seem innocent and inquisitive, but they dismiss Reese’s feelings and her friends are essentially telling her that doesn’t know herself. These questions and comments are microaggressions, intentional or unintentional insults, slights and/or derogatory questions and comments at target marginalized groups of people; in this case LGBTQ people.

First Moon Parties and Blue Water: The Truth About Menstruation

First Moon Parties and Blue Water: The Truth About Menstruation

The #MeToo campaign, Women’s Marches and the current news cycles are flooded with women pushing back on the patriarchy and controls placed on women.  Women’s bodies are being controlled, not wholly by themselves, but by pharmaceutical companies, doctors, the media, and insurance companies. What is considered normal and natural during menstruation is determined by the family care doctor, OBGYN, or fertility specialist who learns about medications to treat symptoms defined as problems by the pharmaceutical companies.  The pharmaceutical companies then go on to promote these drugs -- life enhancers -- in the media and through a focused campaign to get the medical community to prescribe them. Little did the American public realize that menstruation has become a multi-billion dollar a year business.

Mindfulness and Giving Up The Diet

Mindfulness and Giving Up The Diet

Diets don't work.  You've heard it before and likely know it to be true.  Still, you fall victim to the trap - eat this, get thin, live happily ever after.  Has it worked yet?  No. But maybe this time will be different, right?  It won't be.  You may need to circle around the diet cycle a few times before you truly believe diets don't work. 

Learn more about Metrowest Nutrition.

How to Build Unshakeable Trust

How to Build Unshakeable Trust

Your friends, colleagues, and spouse are driven by a few core motivations – one of them is control. We humans are programmed to master our environment and this gets tricky when dealing with other humans. Why?

A Power Solution for Improving Focus, Mood, and Self-Esteem

A Power Solution for Improving Focus, Mood, and Self-Esteem

The simple truth is that we aren’t designed to be glued to a computer screen or in an office all day. Our brains have evolved to thrive in sunlight, in lush green surroundings, and by the water. Since I think we’ve seen the last of snow in Boston (fingers crossed), it’s time to jumpstart our cognitive batteries and kickoff this spring with a plan to leverage our local resources.

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Clearing Your Space

Recently I was in Boca de Tomatlan, Mexico for a workshop with other clinicians and practitioners of the 4 dimensional approach to sex and intimacy.  Every morning, before we would begin our work, we would clear our space.  Clearing space involved using sound (a drum, a rattle, etc.), scent (copal, sage, incense, etc), or other approach to sanctify the area we would be learning and growing in to allow us to be present, to remove negative energy and to set a space that invited intention.

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Do We Need to Win the Lottery to Have the Life we Dream Of?

The Powerball drawing yielded no jackpot winner and the total dollar amount that the potential winning ticket could take home is $1.4 Billion.  It is amazing hearing from many of the hopefuls all of the amazing things they would/could do with the money and how their lives would change for the better.  I have also allowed myself to fantasize about all of the differences I could make in the world and in my own life if I was to be the lucky winner.

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Braveheart

The other day I was asked what would allow someone to achieve their goals when they seem to be so far away.  My immediate gut-level reaction was “bravery”.  It was not the answer the other person was expecting.  I began exploring how others experienced bravery and their ability to recognize it in themselves. 

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Let's Get Messy

So many people start a therapy process because they want real change.  They want to change their relationship, their place in the world, their ability to cope with the things that stress them.  People don’t want a band-aid, they want to experience a different way of being.  When therapy is great, that is what people can experience.

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Being Depressed and Suffering from Depression

As most of you can imagine, being a therapist is not always an easy job because each person carries so many quirks and greatness and struggles that are unique. We are all unique individuals with different genetic makeups, different temperament, different experiences growing up, and different reactions to events and people. Therefore, it is not always easy to categorize each one of us into a diagnostic box, granted we come as close to the box as possible. Neither is it fair to categorize each one of us into a diagnosis, granted we do it because it can be validating. It can also help inform us about which track of treatment to embark on and it becomes the starting point of our conversation on what is it that you are struggling with.

Depression is real, it affects 1 out of 20 individuals ages 12 years and above (CDC, 2005 - 2006) and according to National Institute of Mental Health, 6.7% of adults in the U.S. suffers from Major Depressive Disorder. Symptoms of depression includes low mood consistently, but sometimes with short periods of high energetic moments, difficulty sleeping, lost of appetite, lost of interest in activities that you used to be excited over, thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself, attempts of hurting yourself, low self-esteem, irritability, no energy to do much or difficulty concentrating. You might struggle with one or two, six or seven, or even all of them. When you walk in to talk to us about your emotional struggles, you might think we don't understand. However we make a conscientious effort to understand and relate to what you are saying.

What I want to stress in this blog is that when a person comes in to talk about feeling depressed, I try to ask you to describe what depression feels like. Many people don't  understand the meaning of that question, and I completely get it. What does it mean to describe how your sadness feels? Is it a heavy feeling, like a weight on you? Does it feel like a bottomless pit, or a dark hole? The idea of no energy might be easy to describe; my whole body feels heavy and I can't seem to move. That it takes tremendous effort to do anything. The sadness I feel is overwhelming where it spreads throughout my body, sometimes I feel a certain sense of tightness, sometimes I feel this visceral pain that is hard to explain. When I imagine the tremendous pain you are in, it does make sense to me why you think about not wanting to live as a way to rid this pain.

Feeling depressed and suffering from depression is unbelievably hard. As therapist, we don't understand until you start talking and sharing it with us. Our first task is to free you of the burden of loneliness and isolation. Only then, our training and experience allows us to help you make meaning and get to the root of your depression. When you feel that someone understands you and you feel validated and accepted; it makes it slightly easier to learn to cope with depression and move pass it. It also makes the effort easier to tolerate.

Getting better is a process that can be a long road with a lot of hard work. Let one of us guide you through this and help you feel less isolated. Empower yourself to learn compassion and forgiveness. Please feel free to contact us at info@insightbrookline.com to keep you company on this long road with hard work.

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Coping Skills

As many of us living in Massachusetts know, we have been dumped with a humungous pile of snow that has created issues on the road that has made us feel anxious while getting to places late. It also makes us think about what a waste of time this is to be sitting in traffic watching people not know how to navigate the road when we do this every single year. (This year worst than others in my objective opinion!)  Some of us do not do well being stuck in a confined space for too long and it raises our anger and anxiety. As angry and anxious as we feel, can we take this opportunity to do some self-care and practice staying calm. You have nowhere to go anyway, the triggering stimulus is there, perfect opportunity for in vivo exposure.

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How Change Really Happens!: Systems, Processes and Steps

People come to see me to create change in their lives, their relationships or their career.  Usually after the first session, I have heard them talk about their frustration and failed attempts to create the change they long for.  Why?  Why can’t some folks create the change that just seems to be a logic process?  They try and try and try. 

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What are you fighting for?: Understanding Relationship Conflict and How to Address it


I lead a group for couples on how to bring intention into their relationship.  This is a fascinating group and 
I learn so much from sitting with these couples as we tackle the many inputs into relationships that often 
trip us up.  One recent topic was conflict.  How do we have manage conflict in our relationship with 
intention?  Does it matter if the conflict is between both partners or experienced by one partner from an 
outside source?  As you can imagine, this was a lively discussion!

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What type of leader are you?

We are all leaders – in our own way.   Whether we are at work, with our friends or family or in a social organization, we are all leaders.  We may not be the stand in the front of the room and yell a rallying cry kind of leader, but we all influence others and leave an impact on those around us.  What kind of leader are you?

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Hey Old Man…

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Hey Old Man…

As a man of a certain age, I am constantly faced with the realities the growing difference between what my mind thinks I can do and what my body actually does.  Even though I specialize in connecting the mind and the body -- I am still caught off guard more than I would like to admit. 

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On becoming self-authoring

We all go through changes as we move through life. Some of these are minor and not that impacting.  For instance, you might gradually stop frequenting places you used to visit or lose touch with casual friends. Other changes are major, such as graduating from college, changing jobs, or beginning and ending serious relationships. Some other changes, however, are not only major in terms of outward effects, but also in terms of how they affect our world view and sense of ourselves. Have you ever experienced a profound change such as this, one that rocks you to the core and causes you to question core beliefs that once seemed certain to you?

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Change is growth!

Recently I had been challenged to do something that I never thought I was ever going to do. The goal of this challenge was to help me be more assertive. The task was first proposed to me about 4 months ago and I balked at the idea. Then the time came and I got a little desperate and realized that I didn't have too many viable choices. The person who challenged me was very nurturing yet firm. He set a specific task (very detailed), had a timeline and a reward attached to each successful step. I took the challenge because what else did I have to loose. I was already in a rut.

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Even good change is change

Sometimes, little things in life can throw us off. Especially when we are dealing with a lot of different things. Even when things are for the better, we still have to adjust our brain and body to a new routine. Our frustration tolerance goes down, we are snappier towards others, others are less compassionate towards us because they don't get it and this list can go on and on. Sometimes, we might even feel lonelier than usual.

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Managing your list

You have made your list but halfway through it you realize it is too much. Your brain starts to be filled with counter thoughts, excuses why it is hard to do this or what is going to make it hard, or worse, you cannot decide where to start. OH NO!!! This starts the negative thinking; the self-deprecating statements; hours on end of wondering why you cannot do something this simple; your chest feels tight or your body feels burdened. So much for spring!!!

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Making Connections

You know those times when you are getting frustrated in your relationship because you just aren't getting your needs met? You keep telling your partner that you want things (sex, communication, warmth, etc.) and feel like your requests are falling on deaf ears?  Frustration creeps in and you start losing stake in the relationship feeling that your connection is more distant and fractured. 

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