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CHANGE

"Saying you're Bi is just an excuse for acting slutty" or What Not to Say to LGBTQ People

Reese, a 17 year old female high school student, came out to her friends and family as bisexual a couple of years ago. Most of her family told her it was “just a phase” and now her friends ask her, “Are you sure you’re bisexual?” and “Are you still bisexual, you haven’t dated any girls?” These questions may seem innocent and inquisitive, but they dismiss Reese’s feelings and her friends are essentially telling her that doesn’t know herself. These questions and comments are microaggressions, intentional or unintentional insults, slights and/or derogatory questions and comments at target marginalized groups of people; in this case LGBTQ people.

First Moon Parties and Blue Water: The Truth About Menstruation

First Moon Parties and Blue Water: The Truth About Menstruation

The #MeToo campaign, Women’s Marches and the current news cycles are flooded with women pushing back on the patriarchy and controls placed on women.  Women’s bodies are being controlled, not wholly by themselves, but by pharmaceutical companies, doctors, the media, and insurance companies. What is considered normal and natural during menstruation is determined by the family care doctor, OBGYN, or fertility specialist who learns about medications to treat symptoms defined as problems by the pharmaceutical companies.  The pharmaceutical companies then go on to promote these drugs -- life enhancers -- in the media and through a focused campaign to get the medical community to prescribe them. Little did the American public realize that menstruation has become a multi-billion dollar a year business.

Mindfulness and Giving Up The Diet

Mindfulness and Giving Up The Diet

Diets don't work.  You've heard it before and likely know it to be true.  Still, you fall victim to the trap - eat this, get thin, live happily ever after.  Has it worked yet?  No. But maybe this time will be different, right?  It won't be.  You may need to circle around the diet cycle a few times before you truly believe diets don't work. 

Learn more about Metrowest Nutrition.

Please... Don't Come Out!!!

Please... Don't Come Out!!!

One of the aspects of my job that I love – probably more than anything else – is when I know I have helped someone to be their very best.  When someone comes to see me because they want to resolve a personal conflict or to find a path forward for a more authentic life, I will often encourage them to envision what life will look like on the other side…when they have done the work and can see a different way of being.  This is often challenging.  Many people can’t see what the other side looks like…they can only see the mire they are in presently.

The Importance of Endings

The Importance of Endings

Beginnings get a lot of attention.  Baby’s first word, the first day of school, your first kiss.  Making new friends, starting new jobs.  New cars, new homes, new pairs of shoes.  We love beginnings because they are pregnant with the promise of opportunity and the hope of growth.  We tend to approach beginnings with planfulness.  We daydream, we prepare, we feel the butterflies of nervous anticipation.

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Growing Pains

I play many roles in my life.   Partner, father, therapist, teacher, business owner to name a few.  These roles keep me very busy and I often feel the crushing weight of responsibility on me.  Normally I manage it well and focus on meaningful self-care and attachment to positive people (just as I tell my patients to do!).  I am intentional and mindful of what I need to do to ensure that I am meeting the many requirements that are put on me. 

 

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Do We Need to Win the Lottery to Have the Life we Dream Of?

The Powerball drawing yielded no jackpot winner and the total dollar amount that the potential winning ticket could take home is $1.4 Billion.  It is amazing hearing from many of the hopefuls all of the amazing things they would/could do with the money and how their lives would change for the better.  I have also allowed myself to fantasize about all of the differences I could make in the world and in my own life if I was to be the lucky winner.

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Listening to Those Pregnancy Mood Swings

Being a mental health counselor I thought I would be immune to all those “mood swings” and “pregnancy brain” symptoms pregnant women experience.  I was mistaken and now realize that the effects pregnancy has on our emotions and thinking patterns are real.

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Let's Get Messy

So many people start a therapy process because they want real change.  They want to change their relationship, their place in the world, their ability to cope with the things that stress them.  People don’t want a band-aid, they want to experience a different way of being.  When therapy is great, that is what people can experience.

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How Change Really Happens!: Systems, Processes and Steps

People come to see me to create change in their lives, their relationships or their career.  Usually after the first session, I have heard them talk about their frustration and failed attempts to create the change they long for.  Why?  Why can’t some folks create the change that just seems to be a logic process?  They try and try and try. 

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What are you fighting for?: Understanding Relationship Conflict and How to Address it


I lead a group for couples on how to bring intention into their relationship.  This is a fascinating group and 
I learn so much from sitting with these couples as we tackle the many inputs into relationships that often 
trip us up.  One recent topic was conflict.  How do we have manage conflict in our relationship with 
intention?  Does it matter if the conflict is between both partners or experienced by one partner from an 
outside source?  As you can imagine, this was a lively discussion!

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S.A.D

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S.A.D

Having grown up in Northern California, and having spent the last couple of weeks on the West Coast, I’m finding the cold snap this week—with the dark, gray skies accompanied by the incessant bitter cold— to be particularly grim. I just asked myself this morning:  ”Why did I want to live here again?” I quickly thought about how I do love so many things about New England. I am as still enchanted by the culture, the history, and authenticity of the people as I was as a new student over 10 years ago. I loved autumn then (and still do), but my first winter was a rude awakening.

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Braving the Storm of Seasonal Affective Disorder

We've rounded the corner-- the shortest day of the year is behind us.  Slowly but surely, more and more light will now begin to roll in to our days and nights.

For some, this is predictable good news.  Longer hours of light and sunshine mean more hours to be outside and a boost in energy overall.  The course has changed to downhill, and perhaps your wheels are turning a bit more easily now.  The darkest, longest days are over and the hardest part may feel like it is behind you. 

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Recent Graduates and Student Loans: The Trials of December

One could argue that December is the most festive month of the year. Religious holidays are observed, vacations are taken and students have a respite from their school and course work. December 21st is the longest night of the year and marks the beginning of longer daylight hours. It is a month that marks the end of one year and the beginning of the next – a time for resolutions and a promise of new experiences. Celebrations abound, it is easy to forget that December also marks the end of the grace period and the beginning of student loan payments for those (like myself) who graduated 6 months earlier.

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Even good change is change

Sometimes, little things in life can throw us off. Especially when we are dealing with a lot of different things. Even when things are for the better, we still have to adjust our brain and body to a new routine. Our frustration tolerance goes down, we are snappier towards others, others are less compassionate towards us because they don't get it and this list can go on and on. Sometimes, we might even feel lonelier than usual.

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The 5 C's of Change

Building a house, changing a career, making a plan – all of these require a certain focus and approach in order to be successful. It is also critical to remember that these shifts and changes don’t happen in moment nor do they rely on just one factor. It is often most challenging to make real lasting change when there isn’t a plan and strategy to support the growth. So many people will attempt change and then give up when the results are not immediately gratifying.

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